Friday, August 23, 2013

Curveballs: Returning Home

Waiting to hear from the docs about post-stroke acupuncture (just to err on the side of being safe, since I know Ginny is cautious in these things, especially involving her son).... but anyways, looking around online, it seems to be fairly well-accepted as a treatment, even by the "normal" medical journals. Though of course they follow with a "well, we can't *necessarily* approve it/back it up, but it *does* seem to work. We just can't prove why" kind of statement.

Having lunch with him and then going home tomorrow afternoon. Going to be weird... my first night alone in our bed, and likely to be the first of many. It will take a lot of work to get our home finished and ready for him to be able to use it... but I know that he will eventually want to live in the home that he designed, planned and built himself. It may be a year or more down the road before he's able to be out there full-time, but whatever. A year goes by pretty fast... and there's lots of work to do to fill that year. Thankfully this happened BEFORE we started the renovation/building, not AFTER, so things can be planned around.

For the somewhat immediate part, it's simple stuff like moving a bed downstairs that he can access if he wants to come out for an evening (though even that is still a ways out, most likely).

For the long-term, it will mean redesigning our home/planned home. Things like removing half the wall in the living room into what had been planned to be a studio room, but will now be a bedroom instead. Using what was the upstairs bedroom as the studio instead.

Things like moving our parking area to the other side of the house and putting in a sidewalk (again, if need be -we don't know what his walking capabilities will be in the end- hopefully he returns to full mobility)

A deck outside the future kitchen with a ramp down to said sidewalk.

Things like "indoor plumbing" as far as the toilet aspect goes, though we'll do a composting toilet, since a "regular" toilet would mean a septic tank... which would mean having "regular" electricity brought in. (I'm still not sure why a septic tank needs electricity, mind you.

Truthfully, the thought that he will one day return to our home is all that keeps me going most days, keeps me on the sane edge of breaking. It may not be next month, or in six months, but eventually he will be able to sleep in our home, in our bed.
Aren't they just big holes in the ground, anyways?) Personally, I think that indoor toilets are kind of gross  -I'd rather my shit [and the attendant bacteria] be in the outhouse, physically removed- than in the actual house with me, but whatever.


  1. Big, BIG hugs from Columbus, OH. Love you.

  2. Hang in there, my friend and please know, you're not alone in this. We are many out here who love you two. Please keep us updated on all of it and don't beat yourself up if you fall, it happens...humans are odd beasties.

    Take care.


    1. I'll definitely be keeping folks updated, G... this space may be for the more in-depth/sometimes darker processing than FB, mind you.

      Love back.

  3. Such a shock for you both. I've seen good results from regular physio every day.

    1. He's going to be getting daily therapy (physical, occupational, and speech) for the duration of his rehab stay (2-weeks to a month most likely)... and will continue on with us once he's home again, so hopes are high!

  4. judah,

    i just got back from being out of town... wow, i'm in shock...

    re: composting toilets, we've had two and i don't think much of them (in the house) because it's practically impossible to keep flies and other tiny flying insects out of them. i was going to suggest the 'incinolet' toilet but they need electricity (to burn the shit up). otherwise there are propane incinerating toilets, but they're costly. if you had a septic tank, you don't need electricity as long as the tank is downhill from the toilet. you just need water to make sure the shit flows to the tank. we have an RV toilet (no tank on the back) which would work perfectly with gravity flow water running to it. so you could have a septic tank without electricity.

    okay, i'm now remembering composting toilets with the shit receptacle underneath the house. that would be okay in my opinion... : )

    i'll be sending you and charlie so much love, of that there is no doubt... as georgina said, there are a lot of us out here that love you both.



    1. Thanks, Lynne.

      It's definitely been a bit of a shock, to say the least... one that I'm/we're still processing and will continue to be processing for a while I imagine.

      The toilet aspect is going to be the most challenging in some ways. I need to do some research on the local laws... I know it's either that you can't have electricity brought in w/out a septic system, or visa-versa (neither of which make sense, mind you, but that's laws for ya!)... *but* since we use a catchment system for our water anyways, and would be using gravity feed, we may be able to sidestep that entirely.

      Another option is the indoor outhouse. A couple of our more-aged friends have one in their home, and they just have an exhaust fan down in receptacle portion which creates a negative pull/draft, forcing the air outside. They say they've never had an issue with odor/etc so that's good.

      Anyhoo, thanks again... and love back!

    2. yeah, yeah, the law thing... i'd forgotten about that... (ha ha, blocked it right out!!)